Friday, February 18, 2011

Anti-Chinese Propaganda Video is fairly horrifying.

While I agree that the snowball effect of our deficit is really getting out of hand, there's no need to scare the average American Joe Blow into "fighting for the cause". Watch this video, if you're American it should sufficiently make a few drops of pee come out:

Sweet God. Regardless, my point still stands. What can we, the American people do about it? Revolt? Riot? Revolution? It will not happen, at least not until gas is 15 dollars a gallon, and they freeze all of our bank accounts. If it's our job to stop our government from spending unnecessarily, how the hell are we going to do it? Our federal government insists on policing the world, thereby spending a huge chunk of our annual taxable GDP on the military. It's funny that neither party ever mentions it, but argues over peanuts like welfare. One thing's certain - the system our parents and grandparents have setup will destroy our generation. We are going to have to pay for their mistakes. Thanks a lot, grandpa.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Oh yeah, Christina Grimmie, you so hot bb. I would love to - oh wait WTF oh God no

Christina Grimmie, YouTube singing sensation, amazing voice. I watched this video recently, and immediately fell in love with her Mickey Mouse cuteness, even with that stupid emo haircut she's rocking:

So I look on, and check out a couple more videos..

YUP, NEVERMIND. I'd love to know whose great idea it was to shoot her straight-forward and apply the right makeup in the "Just A Dream" video, because that person deserves a f*cking award. That's special effects even Michael Bay and James Cameron couldn't have come up with. Incredible. Who am I kidding anyway.. I'd still hit it.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Does it even matter who wins a Grammy anymore?

It certainly doesn't seem to. Winning a Grammy used to be a symbol of talent, respect, and musical/critical acclaim - it was a dream sought after amongst every musician, from every genre. Nowadays however, if a musician sells millions of songs on iTunes, who the hell needs a Grammy? People don't even seemingly care who wins anymore, and generally just watch the award show to see who wears the more outlandish bullsh*t outfit. What did we get this year? A few interesting performances, and Lady Gaga in a f*cking demon egg. Let's talk about a couple of the performances, as I don't care about the winners. Here were my two personal favorites:

Cee Lo Green (The Midget Pimp) and Gwyneth Paltrow (fucking really?) - Forget You

I actually liked this performance. Cee Lo is a talented, albeit absolutely silly physically looking artist. I'm down with the gay peacock deal, do your thang Mr. Green. I also love muppets, as I and most of America was raised on them. The pug dog doing the Dirty Dancing routine next to the piano was particularly amusing. With that being said, the fuck is Paltrow doing there? This I certainly did not understand. She can't even sing well, and she has no ass to boot. What the f*ck was Cee Lo thinking? He must be trying to hit it. All I'm saying is that if she keeps ruining his songs like this, one day her head may end up in a box, Se7en style.

Eminem, Skylar Grey, and Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor

This performance was interesting as well. Eminem is vibrant as usual, making every fan's panties wet within a 2 mile radius, so there's not much else to be said there. Skylar Grey is a name that's not very well known in music yet, but I'm willing to be that it will be. Formerly known as Holly Brook, she used to write lesbian, pro-Lilith Fair style coffee house music. Within the last couple of years, she changed her stage name, sold out, and started writing popular hooks for rappers and R&B singers. Thank you for making the change baby, the hooks on the songs you've written are absolutely amazing. She came into the spotlight briefly with "Where Did You Go" by Fort Minor, and has since written for Christina Aguilera, Rihanna, Dirty Money, and others. Chick is going to be huge in 2011, and I wish her all the best (partially because I really want to have s3x with her).

Lady Gaga shows up with slaves in an egg

Title says it all. It's Lady Gaga in a f*cking dinosaur-lucifer egg being carried by slaves. I bet that black guy in the back is pissed off at his agent. I'm not going to review her performance, f*ck her. She gets enough attention as it is.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Men: Lonely and bitter on Valentine's Day? Go get some!

Gents, you'll never have an easier time getting laid with as little effort put in as you will today. Many men consider this one of the worst Americanized holidays, and it is.. but it doesn't have to be. Do you realize how many single, lonely, desperate, jealous women there are out there today? More than I'll have time to stick my manhood in, that's for sure. Fellas, if you're alone and are sick and tired of not getting any, GO TO THE BAR TONIGHT. Not 'O Flannery Irish pub down the street, either. Go to a mid-scale club, and you'll notice something that is difficult to spot any other day of the year. You'll notice women. Most of the will be alone. You'll notice a desperation in their eyes that is practically begging you to buy them a drink and talk to them.

Why, you ask? It's not that they actually want somebody. It's that one or more of their girlfriends has a boyfriend to be with them, buying them outlandish sh*t that they don't need. Women don't like the idea of other women getting sh*t that they don't, which is why women hold grudges against one another indefinitely. That's where the magic happens, babies. Women need someone today. As a matter of fact, many women keep an unofficial tab on today's date, attempting to secure a boyfriend (or at least a date) before today arrives. The ones who have failed will either be eating ice cream at home watching Sex and The City and crying, or they will suck it up, put on their sluttiest outfit, and wait for a guy to buy them a drink at the bar, potentially filling them up later on that night.

So men, please. Do not be bitter. Do not feel alone. Trust me, single women today are far worse off than we are. If you want an easy catch, go to the bar tonight. I would, honestly, but I don't have to. I put my legwork in ahead of time.

I wasn't sick. Note: Names and dates have been protected just by the odd chance that if this blog is found, I can somehow OJ Simpson my way out of the situation. I'd bet my last dollar or my left leg that this person (or one of the other lonely broads) on my contact list will text me or call me with the same plea. Why? As I've said, I've already done my legwork. You won't find yours truly at the bar tonight fellas, but if you do go, a handful of lonely women invading your inbox on a weekly basis could be in your immediate future. Trust me, I would never intentionally steer you wrong. Go get lucky.